$100 BILL TATTOOED ON PENIS
Introduction:
A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, “Where the hell have you been?”
    Him: “I was out getting a tattoo.”
    Her: “A tattoo?” “What kind of tattoo did you get? ”
    Him: “I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis.”
    Her: “What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?”
    Him: “Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow . . .
    Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money . . .
    Third, I like how money feels in my hand . . .
    And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!”            
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